Malta Goya

Ethnicity: Latin American

Ingredients:
Brewed from water, pale malt, caramel malt, high fructose corn syrup, corn syrup, caramel color, phosphoric acid, salt and hops.

Appearance:
The drink pours and looks like soy sauce and is almost completely opaque. The bottle design is very plain. Aroma is rich and reminiscent of oatmeal and eggs.

Taste:
Bitter but with an inappropriately sweet edge. Tastes of salt and iron. It reminds us of those times when you let your Crispix sit too long in the milk and the rice (dark brown) side tastes funny.

Manufacturing Process:
Design and implement a malt beverage which contains no alcohol and gives the drinker no reason whatsoever to consume it.

Final Thoughts:
Colin: "An horrific amalgamation of different breakfast-oriented foodstuffs. It's like a Denny's Grand Slam in a blender."

Jordan: "If you wish to peel the label off entirely you'll find it requiring an excessive amount of both time and energy. However, the beverage tastes so bad that you'll be able to finish peeling the label before you have fully consumed the beverage."

Sawyer: "I feel our judgement is premature. An immeasurable sort of depth and complexity characterizes Malta Goya. This drink is not for the faint of palate, its bold, grainy and hopsy notes are ostensibly sour, but continuing consumption is rewarded."

Ratings (out of 10)
Jordan: 1.1
Sawyer: 3.8
Colin: 5/8
Average: 1.84166666666666...